Kindergarten Blues
It's 1 AM, an hour past when I usually go to bed, and I'm sitting here writing this post. I talked myself out of walking to the car to get the book I just checked out of the library. Why am I looking for excuses to stay up? My best guess is that I'm having issues with my oldest child starting kindergarten tomorrow. Technically she does not start until Tue, but tomorrow she goes in for 45 min to meet her teacher and get tested. I've heard stories about Mom's getting cold feet when it's time for their kids to go to school for the first time, but I thought I was going to be ok. I have pretty much convinced myself that it's just like preschool, only 5 days a week instead of 2 or 3. Nothing to worry about. Except..
I had a dream last night about kindergarten. I was a substitute for the kindergarten teacher, and I did a terrible job. One kid was being a little bit rowdy, and I felt like I needed to set an example of him so others wouldn't follow his lead. I decided to take him to the principle's office, and was only planning on being gone for a minute. Of course, since it was one of my dreams, it took me forever to get back. When I finally did get back, two members of my church who are actually teachers in real life were watching the class. I tried to pretend that nothing was amiss, and started teaching again, but I felt terrible and totally inadequate.
I can remember bits and pieces of my own kindergarten experience. I remember playing with the toys, and the letters hanging around the room. I remember kindergarten orientation where we got to play outside on the playground afterward. I remember loving to cut and paste. I have good feelings overall when I think about kindergarten, but I also remember a couple of bad experiences. The worst was when a someone who sat at my table was absent, and another boy at the table decided that it would be funny to distribute the missing boy's crayons amongst ourselves. We all laughed and agreed that it would be a funny trick. The next day when the boy came back, neither he nor the teacher thought it was funny, and asked who had done it. The ringleader, who had been the one to suggest it, told the teacher that I was the one who did it. I guess I was too shy to stand up for myself, because I had to go out into the hall for punishment. Not that I really minded. I remember liking being out there.
Our teacher would give us assignments to complete in class. After we were finished she would collect our pencils and then we come up to her desk in small groups to have our work graded. If we got all of the answers correct, we would get a scratch-and-sniff sticker for our paper. One day I did the assignment, she collected our pencils, and then just as I was about to go up for my work to be checked I noticed that I had answered one question incorrectly. The whole long trip up to her desk, and while waiting in line I had visions of sneaking over to the pencils, grabbing one, and quickly fixing my error, but I never worked up the courage to do it. The girl in front of me got a wonderful elephant sticker that smelled like peanuts when you scratched it. I wanted one so badly, but sure enough when I got to the front of the line I didn't say anything and my teacher marked the answer wrong. No smelly sticker for me.
Part of me wonders if I really am ready for my little girl to be off experiencing the school experiences, both good and bad, without me. Lucky for me, they are always looking for volunteers to help in the classroom, so I will hopefully be able to take advantage of some of those opportunities and be in this part of her life for a little while.
Well, blogging has made me feel better, and by better I mean sleepy. I have to be up bright and early to make her 8:15AM appt (are they crazy? She's in afternoon kindergarten for a reason people!), so I think I'm settled down enough now to go to sleep.
Wish me luck!
I had a dream last night about kindergarten. I was a substitute for the kindergarten teacher, and I did a terrible job. One kid was being a little bit rowdy, and I felt like I needed to set an example of him so others wouldn't follow his lead. I decided to take him to the principle's office, and was only planning on being gone for a minute. Of course, since it was one of my dreams, it took me forever to get back. When I finally did get back, two members of my church who are actually teachers in real life were watching the class. I tried to pretend that nothing was amiss, and started teaching again, but I felt terrible and totally inadequate.
I can remember bits and pieces of my own kindergarten experience. I remember playing with the toys, and the letters hanging around the room. I remember kindergarten orientation where we got to play outside on the playground afterward. I remember loving to cut and paste. I have good feelings overall when I think about kindergarten, but I also remember a couple of bad experiences. The worst was when a someone who sat at my table was absent, and another boy at the table decided that it would be funny to distribute the missing boy's crayons amongst ourselves. We all laughed and agreed that it would be a funny trick. The next day when the boy came back, neither he nor the teacher thought it was funny, and asked who had done it. The ringleader, who had been the one to suggest it, told the teacher that I was the one who did it. I guess I was too shy to stand up for myself, because I had to go out into the hall for punishment. Not that I really minded. I remember liking being out there.
Our teacher would give us assignments to complete in class. After we were finished she would collect our pencils and then we come up to her desk in small groups to have our work graded. If we got all of the answers correct, we would get a scratch-and-sniff sticker for our paper. One day I did the assignment, she collected our pencils, and then just as I was about to go up for my work to be checked I noticed that I had answered one question incorrectly. The whole long trip up to her desk, and while waiting in line I had visions of sneaking over to the pencils, grabbing one, and quickly fixing my error, but I never worked up the courage to do it. The girl in front of me got a wonderful elephant sticker that smelled like peanuts when you scratched it. I wanted one so badly, but sure enough when I got to the front of the line I didn't say anything and my teacher marked the answer wrong. No smelly sticker for me.
Part of me wonders if I really am ready for my little girl to be off experiencing the school experiences, both good and bad, without me. Lucky for me, they are always looking for volunteers to help in the classroom, so I will hopefully be able to take advantage of some of those opportunities and be in this part of her life for a little while.
Well, blogging has made me feel better, and by better I mean sleepy. I have to be up bright and early to make her 8:15AM appt (are they crazy? She's in afternoon kindergarten for a reason people!), so I think I'm settled down enough now to go to sleep.
Wish me luck!
This entry was posted
on Sunday, August 3, 2008 at 11:58 PM.
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