I have never been a big fan of running. Even as a kid I hated the game of tag because it is pretty much nothing but running. In middle school I thought I'd give running a chance and signed up for a track race. It was relatively short, maybe a quarter or half way around the track. The race started out good. I got a good lead going and for a brief moment allowed myself the thought that maybe I could win the race. A second later it all fell apart. I ended up walking across the finish line in tears, gasping for breath.
I jogged in middle school, high school, and beyond when it was required and sometimes for short amounts of time on the treadmill for exercise. I wouldn't say my enjoyment of jogging ever increased.
Then something weird happened. I was prowling around on the internet, and I stumbled upon the
couch to 5K program. I started having jogging fantasies. How cool would it be if I could actually pull something like this off? Running three miles was so out there it didn't even seem possible, but the program itself didn't look too bad. A little bit of walking then a little bit of jogging, easy enough.
I started the program. It was going good until I reached week 3. In the program you can either run for time or run for distance. I was running for time, but I quickly realized I wasn't on track distance wise. I decided to hold up on week 3 until I could run a little faster.
My husband was also running, and started the couch to 5K program, but picked it up a lot faster than I did. He liked to jog outside, and was having a good time with it.
Then winter hit. I was still going okay for a while until life got crazy and the drive to and from my parent's house to use their treadmill started getting hard to do. I got distracted and the program got lost in the bustle of life.
Then came spring. I started again with the treadmill a couple of times, and my husband started jogging again outside. I liked the treadmill because it kept track of my distance, time, and speed for me, and it was easy to keep a consistent speed if I wanted to. However, I decided to try running outside one day. To my surprise, I liked it a lot better. Something about running in the fresh air, seeing the mountains, and making visual progress was so appealing that very quickly I was only jogging outside. I stopped worrying about the distance and continued on the program using time as my measurement.
I was excited the week I finished the couch to 5K program, but I was sure I wasn't really running 3 miles. About that time our church announced they were doing a 5K fun run. I thought it would be fun to run in the race, so I started running longer. Instead of 30 minutes, I ran 32, 35, 40, and then 45 minutes. As the race time got closer, I started having doubts. I was pretty sure by then I was running for 3 miles, but I didn't know for sure. What if I couldn't do it? What if I had a repeat of my last middle school race? I didn't really want to end the race gasping for breath, having everyone concerned that I needed medical attention. Plus I knew that I would come in last place. I knew I jogged slow. I had even been passed by walkers on the path I often jogged. I also felt very self conscious about how I looked when I jogged. I don't have a runner's physique, not even close, and I worried about what people thought when they saw me jogging along.
I was undecided about doing the fun run, but just in case I drove the car around the running loop in the neighborhood and figured out how far 3 miles was so I would know if I could do it. The wednesday before the race I decided to give my freshly measured route a try. I jogged it without paying too much attention to my watch. It felt long, and I was extremely tired at the end, but I did it, hills and all. I was disappointed by my time though. 53 minutes to run 3 miles. I had proof that I could do a 5K fun run if it wasn't a lot harder than my jogging loop, but I also had proof that I would most likely come in last place. I thought that maybe instead of doing the race the day of I would just get a copy of the route and do it on my own.
Over the next couple of days I went back and forth on the issue. Finally I realized that my reasons for not wanting to race were stupid and went against everything I was trying to teach my children. It doesn't matter what place you come in, as long as you try your best. You shouldn't avoid doing something you want to do just because you think someone might laugh at you. Simple lessons that I knew but was struggling with. Friday I called my Mom and arranged for her to watch the kids on Saturday so both Mike and I could run the race.
In telling this story to my 6 yr old daughter afterward, I asked her the following questions:
Me: "How many people do you think laughed at me when I ran the race?"
Her: "um, no-one?"
Me: "Yep! How many people do you think were cheering me on and hi-fiving me as I was running the race, and congratulating me when I was done?"
Her: "lots?"
Me: "Yep! What place do you think I came in?"
Her: "First?"
Me: "Nope! Last!" (We both laughed). "Do you think I felt bad about coming in last?"
Her: "No"
Me: "That's right, I was just proud of myself for finishing and for doing my best."
I finished the 5K fun run in about 50 minutes, beating my previous time by 3 minutes. My kind husband was nice enough to walk back after he finished the race and run the last bit with me so I wasn't coming in on my own. I had a lot of fun during the fun run, and am so glad I did it.
Now, for the first time in my life, I actually enjoy jogging. It's still hard work and tiring, but it also feels good. I can finally understand why people like to do it.
