The Whole Watermelon

I love morning time. It's my absolute favorite time of the day.

For one thing, there are the quiet murmurs of sound, drifting towards me softly as I stir from my rest:



And then there are the pleasant fragrant smells hovering in the air around:


And last, but not least, there are the sights. The sense of discovery of all that has occurred during my quiet slumber:

I've had a few people casually ask about baby names, so I've decided to share the list I've been compiling. We still don't know what we are having (not by choice, baby was shy), and won't find out until at least Dec 2nd at our next ultrasound.

Mike and I have a terrible time deciding on a name. His favorite names are names that were popular baby names in the 1980s. He laughs at me every time I tell him a name is too 80s. I like the older names which are coming back into style. Names of our Grandmas and Grandpas' generation.

We will get more serious about picking a name once we can eliminate half the names. I have devised a baby naming system, which, I believe, is the only way this child of ours will end up with a name. I am compiling a list of potential baby names. Names that start with Al- or An- or Au- are almost completely out of the running. I stumble getting my kids' names out of my mouth too much as it is. Also names that sound a lot like the other kids names are out. (Adam and Autumn for example. They don't look too similar until you try saying them out loud a few times.) Once the list is complete I will give a copy to both Mike and I, and we will (in private) number each name from 1 on down with 1 being our favorite name. Then we will go down our lists name by name starting with our favorite names. The first time a name that is read on one of our lists has already been read on the other person's list, that will be our name. In the case of a tie we go with my name since Mike named Andy. (If you ask me I should get free reign to name this one, but Mike doesn't agree.)

Our Boy and Girl 'A' Names for your perusing enjoyment.

Boy Names
Aaron: Hebrew, Exalted, Strong (#50 on SSA list, #31 in 2008 baby names)
Abbott: English
Ace: Latin, One or Expert (#777 on SSA list)
Adler: Old German, Eagle
Adrian: Latin, Person From Hadria (Northern Italy) (#61 on SSA list, #59 in 2008 baby names)
Angus: Scottish, One Strength
Ansley: English, From Annesly or Ansley, From The Hermitage Field (Too much like Andy. See how hard this is!)
A.J.
Arnold/Arnie: German, Eagle Power
Arthur/Art: Welsh, Bear (#374 on SSA list)
Asher: Hebrew, Blessed, Happy (#233 on SSA list, #47 in 2008 baby names)
Atticus: English, Father-like (#683 on SSA list)

Girl Names
Ada: German, Noble, Happy
Adele: German, Noble, Kind
Abigail/Abby: Hebrew, Joy of the Father (#8 on SSA list, #5 in 2008 baby names)
Addison: English, Child of Adam (#692 on SSA list, #14 in 2008 baby names)
Adrienne: Latin, Person From Hadria (Northern Italy)(#751 on SSA list)
Adriana/Adriana: Latin, Person From Hadria (Northern Italy) (#170 on SSA list, #33 in 2008 baby names)
Agatha: Greek, Virtuous, Good
Agnes: Greek, Pure, Chaste
Aida: Italian, Happy
Aimi (Japanese for Beautiful love)pronounced "ay-mi or eye-mi or Ah-ee-mee"
Ainslie: English, From Annesly or Ansley, From The Hermitage Field
Amanda: Latin, Worthy of Love (#112 on SSA list)
Amaris: Hebrew, Promised by God (#958 on SSA list)
Amber: English, Precious Stone (#146 on SSA list, #99 in 2008 baby names)
Amelia: Latin, To Strive or excel or rival (#77 on SSA list, #11 in 2008 baby names)
Anita: Hebrew, Gracious, Merciful
April: Latin, Opening, 4th month (#310 on SSA list)
Ashley: English, The Ash Tree Field (#13 on SSA list, #98 in 2008 baby names)
Ava: Latin, Like a bird (#4 on SSA list, #1 in 2008 baby names)
Aven: Irish, Fair Radiance
Avery: English, Elf Ruler (#221 on SSA list, #37 in 2008 baby names)
Avice - English, Refuge in Battle

Good news and bad news.

Bad news first. During the editing process a few months ago, My NanoWriMo novel got eaten alive by my computer. Specifically, the hard drive failed and I had to replace it. I was holding out hope that someone could rescue it my novel from the hard drive, but it looks like the drive is so destroyed that the typical data saving programs aren't able to recover anything. I could pay a professional data recovery place to try, but it would probably cost $1000 or so. As much as I'd like to think my novel is worth that price, I can't justify that kind of money at this time.

Good news. Luckily I do have a copy of the novel, when it was about 73% completed, saved on a thumb drive. I'm going to re-write the lost portions of my novel, and it's going to be even better. My goal is to finish it before November, when the next NaNoWriMo will begin. I figure if I wrote the whole thing in a month I can surely re-write 27% of it in 4 months. This time I'll make lots of backup copies. When I finish it, I will make it available for people to read. Then it will be so popular that a publisher will come and beg me to publish it . It will make millions of dollars and I will be able to afford data recovery on my burned out hard drive. Then we'll be able to compare the two novels noting and analyzing the differences. Won't that be fun? I'll try and update my blog with current word counts to keep up my motivation. Current word count: 36,680 words. Goal: 50,000 words.

I have never been a big fan of running. Even as a kid I hated the game of tag because it is pretty much nothing but running. In middle school I thought I'd give running a chance and signed up for a track race. It was relatively short, maybe a quarter or half way around the track. The race started out good. I got a good lead going and for a brief moment allowed myself the thought that maybe I could win the race. A second later it all fell apart. I ended up walking across the finish line in tears, gasping for breath.

I jogged in middle school, high school, and beyond when it was required and sometimes for short amounts of time on the treadmill for exercise. I wouldn't say my enjoyment of jogging ever increased.

Then something weird happened. I was prowling around on the internet, and I stumbled upon the couch to 5K program. I started having jogging fantasies. How cool would it be if I could actually pull something like this off? Running three miles was so out there it didn't even seem possible, but the program itself didn't look too bad. A little bit of walking then a little bit of jogging, easy enough.

I started the program. It was going good until I reached week 3. In the program you can either run for time or run for distance. I was running for time, but I quickly realized I wasn't on track distance wise. I decided to hold up on week 3 until I could run a little faster.

My husband was also running, and started the couch to 5K program, but picked it up a lot faster than I did. He liked to jog outside, and was having a good time with it.

Then winter hit. I was still going okay for a while until life got crazy and the drive to and from my parent's house to use their treadmill started getting hard to do. I got distracted and the program got lost in the bustle of life.

Then came spring. I started again with the treadmill a couple of times, and my husband started jogging again outside. I liked the treadmill because it kept track of my distance, time, and speed for me, and it was easy to keep a consistent speed if I wanted to. However, I decided to try running outside one day. To my surprise, I liked it a lot better. Something about running in the fresh air, seeing the mountains, and making visual progress was so appealing that very quickly I was only jogging outside. I stopped worrying about the distance and continued on the program using time as my measurement.

I was excited the week I finished the couch to 5K program, but I was sure I wasn't really running 3 miles. About that time our church announced they were doing a 5K fun run. I thought it would be fun to run in the race, so I started running longer. Instead of 30 minutes, I ran 32, 35, 40, and then 45 minutes. As the race time got closer, I started having doubts. I was pretty sure by then I was running for 3 miles, but I didn't know for sure. What if I couldn't do it? What if I had a repeat of my last middle school race? I didn't really want to end the race gasping for breath, having everyone concerned that I needed medical attention. Plus I knew that I would come in last place. I knew I jogged slow. I had even been passed by walkers on the path I often jogged. I also felt very self conscious about how I looked when I jogged. I don't have a runner's physique, not even close, and I worried about what people thought when they saw me jogging along.

I was undecided about doing the fun run, but just in case I drove the car around the running loop in the neighborhood and figured out how far 3 miles was so I would know if I could do it. The wednesday before the race I decided to give my freshly measured route a try. I jogged it without paying too much attention to my watch. It felt long, and I was extremely tired at the end, but I did it, hills and all. I was disappointed by my time though. 53 minutes to run 3 miles. I had proof that I could do a 5K fun run if it wasn't a lot harder than my jogging loop, but I also had proof that I would most likely come in last place. I thought that maybe instead of doing the race the day of I would just get a copy of the route and do it on my own.

Over the next couple of days I went back and forth on the issue. Finally I realized that my reasons for not wanting to race were stupid and went against everything I was trying to teach my children. It doesn't matter what place you come in, as long as you try your best. You shouldn't avoid doing something you want to do just because you think someone might laugh at you. Simple lessons that I knew but was struggling with. Friday I called my Mom and arranged for her to watch the kids on Saturday so both Mike and I could run the race.

In telling this story to my 6 yr old daughter afterward, I asked her the following questions:
Me: "How many people do you think laughed at me when I ran the race?"
Her: "um, no-one?"
Me: "Yep! How many people do you think were cheering me on and hi-fiving me as I was running the race, and congratulating me when I was done?"
Her: "lots?"
Me: "Yep! What place do you think I came in?"
Her: "First?"
Me: "Nope! Last!" (We both laughed). "Do you think I felt bad about coming in last?"
Her: "No"
Me: "That's right, I was just proud of myself for finishing and for doing my best."

I finished the 5K fun run in about 50 minutes, beating my previous time by 3 minutes. My kind husband was nice enough to walk back after he finished the race and run the last bit with me so I wasn't coming in on my own. I had a lot of fun during the fun run, and am so glad I did it.

Now, for the first time in my life, I actually enjoy jogging. It's still hard work and tiring, but it also feels good. I can finally understand why people like to do it.

Last night my husband tried to kill me. Again.

I was sleeping peacefully in my bed when my husband rolled over. He didn't say anything, but I knew with every fiber in my being that he was going to put a rag with chloroform over my mouth and kill me. There was someone else involved too. Someone who had told him to kill me. I think this person might have been H.H. Holmes, the serial killer I just finished reading about in the book The Devil in the White City.

Of course none of this was real. I was having another night terror.

I was not surprised that a reference to this book had worked it's way into my night terror. In fact, while listening to the audiobook version of the novel, I realized that it was a real life version of the night terrors I have been experiencing lately. However, before I go too much into that, let me tell you a brief history of my night terrors.

When I was a child, I would sometimes bolt out of bed and stand shaking against the wall. I just knew there was something in my bed. Sometimes it was a snake, sometimes spiders. I would remain plastered against the wall with my heart beating wildly until I woke up enough to convince myself it was just a dream. When I use the term "woke up" I don't mean that I suddenly broke free from the sleep state. When I am having a night terror I do not feel asleep. So waking up from a night terror is not like waking up from a regular dream. It's like reality slowly creeps back into my mind and I realize that what I had accepted mere seconds ago as reality was completely untrue.

As I grew up, I had a couple of night terrors that my parents were going to kill me. In one instance I ran from my room on the far side of the basement, up the stairs, out the side door of the house, and down the long driveway. Lucky for my neighbor, whose home I was running to for help, I realized I was having a night terror before I reached the end of the driveway.

The worst case of night terrors happened after I got married. Suddenly, after a lifetime of having my own room, there was someone else next to me making noise and sparking all kinds of nightmares. The first month we were married I probably had at least one night terror a week. At first I imagined there was someone other than my husband and myself in the room. My husband would calmly tell me that it was a dream and tell me to come back to bed. Slowly my night terrors changed, and it was my husband who was the bad guy. Now when he tried to soothe me, I thought it was a trick, and usually looked at him with terror and mistrust. He quickly adapted his new strategy for dealing with my night terrors, which was to completely ignore me. I again almost knocked on a neighbor's door one night when I was running away from him.

I still have night terrors, but on a lesser scale than when I was first married. I've been reading up about night terrors on various websites, and have appreciated the information I've found. I particularly have found the nightterrors.org site to be a valuable resource.

I can usually laugh about my night terror experiences the next day, but they are not fun when they are happening. They are so realistic and I have no idea that I am dreaming. Imagine what it would feel like if you really thought that someone or something was trying to kill you. You then are literally running for you life. A lot of times it takes a while for me to settle down afterward. My heart continues to pound hard even after I know it's not real. The author of nightterror.org says "I find the most amazing aspect of night terrors is that it generates a heart rate of 160 to 170 beats per minute. This is much faster than the normal heart rate that can be attained under most stressful circumstances."

His definition of a night terror is "Sudden awakening from sleep, persistent fear or terror that occurs at night, screaming, sweating, confusion, rapid heart rate, inability to explain what happened, usually no recall of "bad dreams" or nightmares, may have a vague sense of frightening images. Many people see spiders, snakes, animals or people in the room, are unable to fully awake, difficult to comfort, with no memory of the event on awakening the next day. ... This, however, is not always the case. Quite a few people interviewed can remember portions of the night terror, and some remember the whole thing." I am one who usually remembers at least portions if not the whole thing.

Night terrors usually happen during the first part of your sleep, within the first hour, before you enter the REM portion of sleep. Usually when I have a night terror, I'm stressed or overly tired and have entered into a sort of restless sleep. One night in this restless state I heard my husband shift and the sound of his body moving on the sheets was so scary to me. On this occasion I was fully aware that it was him moving, but something about that sound was still so unnerving. My husband reports that a lot of times my night terrors are sparked by his movement. I find it fascinating that a slight noise sparks an elaborate story in my mind. My husband turns over, and instantly I have this whole detailed story in my head about him having an evil plot to murder.

I do not know if it is totally true in my case, but I did find it a little cool to read that night terrors happen to those with "active imaginations" and that they happen due to "increased brain activity."

I think it's interesting that so many of my night terrors lately are about my husband trying to kill me. During the waking hours it seems ridiculous to even consider the possibility of that happening. He's a nice, good man who has never shown the slightest hint of violence to me or anyone else for that matter. I think that's what adds to the overall terror of it all. Suddenly he's not the man I know. Suddenly a slow smile comes across his face and he reveals himself as a man who enjoys giving others pain.

This brings me back to The Devil in the White City novel. H.H. Holmes was just like the husband of my terrors. He was a charming and handsome man who seemed generous and kind and then suddenly he would show his true colors, those of a killer.

To me, I can't imagine anything more frightening than someone you love and hold dear revealing themselves to be absolutely evil. Maybe that's why, when my brain feels the need to pick the most frightening thing for my terror, it provides me with this scenario.

Unlike the women in the novel, I am glad that my nightmares can be woken up from, and that my husband is a genuinely nice guy. My heart goes out to those who have experienced the things I have only had to live in my dreams.

A couple of Christmases ago, my husband came up with a brilliant plan. He wanted a new IPod, one with video, but didn't have enough gift money to buy the latest version. He somehow convinced me to buy his used IPod with my gift money for the price he could have gotten by selling it on ebay. He then he used those proceeds to help buy his new model.

I must say I was a bit skeptical about having an IPod. I didn't know if I would use it enough to warrant using precious Christmas money on it. I like music okay, but in general I don't listen to a lot of it, I have very specific tastes, and I tire of songs quickly. I thought I would probably use my IPod occasionally, but thought it was something I could live without.

Shortly after acquiring my IPod, I discovered podcasts. My entire view of my IPod has changed. It's not a little music machine, no, no, it's a little talking machine! I love it! I listen to podcasts when I'm exercising, and when I'm doing dishes, laundry, cleaning, and other domestic agonies. It makes tedious work fun. Or if not fun, bearable.

I've decided to share with you my fav podcasts. They are all available from ITunes if you do a search for them. If you don't have an IPod, you can still download them to ITunes and listen to them from your computer.

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The Dave Ramsey Show
You can get an hour of each daily show free. Since I am usually not driving in the car from 7-10PM, it's nice to be able to get my Dave Ramsey fix.

Astronomy Cast
Mike got me hooked on this. I'm not extremely interested in space like he is, but listening to the podcast is like being in a really cool college class. It's a little like the television show Nova. They talk down enough so that it doesn't go over your head, but keep it intellectual enough that you feel like you're really smart for listening to it. Dr. Pamela Gray is awesome, and has a knack for explaining really hard things.

KEXP Song of the Day
This is one I've just started subscribing to. Every day they give you a new song. It seems like it's mostly self-released songs. They seem to have pretty good taste and a variety of music, and it's nice listening to music I haven't heard a million times already. I listen to the songs, delete the ones I don't care for, and then I'll transfer my favorites to my IPod.

This American Life
Each week they have a theme and tell stories of people relating to the theme. It sounds lame, but it's amazing. It's one of the most popular podcasts for a reason.

NPR Planet Money
A spinoff from This American Life focusing on money. It's a nice way to keep up to date on current events relating to money. They somehow make it fairly interesting.

NPR: Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! Podcast
It's a comic gameshow focusing on current news. I like it, and it's funny, but I'm convinced it has a liberal bias to it. Actually, I think all NPR shows have a least a little liberal bias going on, but the other ones try harder to hide it. I haven't given up on it yet though, as it usually makes me laugh a few times per episode.

The official Lost Podcast
If you watch the show, definitely listen to the podcast. They answer questions and erase a little of the confusion.

Pediacast: a pediatric podcast for parents
I used to get Parents magazine, but after a while it started bugging me. This podcast is so much better. Dr. Mike has a down to earth and practical approach to parenting and pediatric advice. His advice has come in handy a couple of times for me.

Stuff You Should Know
I want to like this podcast, and the topics are intereting, but the hosts are so nerdy. I'm not a big fan of their shtick, but the info is good, so I'm sticking around.

TedTalks
These are videos, so I don't download them to my video-less IPod, but they are very interesting talks by all kinds of people. Again, it's like being in college, with guest lecturers coming to the school.

WNYC's Radio Lab
I love this podcast. It's a lot like This American Life, but about science. Very cool.

60-second Psych
60 second commentary on the latest in brain and behavior studies. I've just started listening to it, but so far it's interesting.

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The other think I love to do with my IPod is listen to audiobooks. You can download free audiobooks from ITunes (I recently downloaded Anne of Green Gables), and I also get audiobooks from the library. I really enjoy listening to mysteries. Something about listening to the stories makes them more spooky.

I don't usually keep up with all my Podcasts, but it's nice to know there's always something to listen to when I need to tackle a bunch of laundry.

Now that you know what I like, if you have any Podcast suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

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My final (for now) Michigan post will focus on the drive. Here are a few more things we used to entertain the kids on our long drives to and from Michigan.

Tbese are some of the surprise bags (explained here) I made for the trip.



One of the surprise bags for each kid had a blank journal and a bunch of stickers inside (found in the Target bargain bins). The younger two just transferred stickers into the journal, but my oldest used stickers and coloring to create really neat pictures.



This last trip I packed a bag full of craft supplies. We had pipe cleaners to sculpt designs with, lots of glitter glue, scissors, construction paper, staplers, foam shapes, and a bunch of squiggly eyes and puff balls to make pictures with:



For $5 at Robert's Crafts, I got these foam kits which the kids loved, and which kept them occupied for at least an hour.





We played Car Bingo through Wyoming, which added to the challenge. (You would not believe how long we looked for a bird!)



Balls are fun to throw around if you're in the way back seat.



I bought a bunch of dry erase markers and an eraser, and let the kids draw on board books. They weren't specially bought board books, just ones we had. My 18 month old loved scribbling and erasing on the animals over and over again.



The older kids like drawing clothing, silly glasses, fake eyelashes, spots, etc. on the animals. I love the decorated bunny on this one:



Another great thing to bring along is a cookie sheet. Most are magnetic, so the kids can play with magnets on them. My boys loved to drive their cars on them, and they are also great for drawing on or doing puzzles on (so the pieces don't slide off.)

but the most entertaining thing of all on a long trip is watching Daddy have a little talk with a nice police officer.



(phew, just a warning)